As parents, we know that something is wrong when our teens lash out, act up, or isolate. The tough part is figuring out what they are struggling with and how to solve it. And when the issue at hand is procrastination, anxiety, self-harming, or other problem behaviors, many parents at a loss for where to begin. This is where DBT comes into play. DBT skills like Behavioral Chain Analysis can help you and your teen identify and prevent problem behaviors before they get out of control. With the uncertainty of the school year just around the corner, now is a great time to get a handle on negative patterns of behavior so that they don’t escalate in the weeks to come. Here’s your teen’s guide to identifying and preventing negative behaviors…
Has your child been emotional lately? Do certain things make your teen feel angry, upset, or on-edge? Maybe the tone of your voice sets them off, or a passing thunderstorm dampens their mood for the day. It’s understandable that some things will make people feel one way or another. Sometimes (especially with added stress of a pandemic), experiences can be very emotionally triggering—so much so, that they cause teens to get stuck in negative emotions for longer than necessary. Do you wish there was a way to help your teen not feel as frustrated by a friend who canceled Facetime plans or as anxious about ? Try using DBT skills, specifically emotion regulation skills! It’s simpler than you’d think…
It’s totally understandable for teens to be feeling heightened emotions lately. The current situation may seem crazy, unfair, or just plain frustrating to your teen. While it’s valid to see things this way, constant negative thinking can take its toll on your teen’s mental health. It can get them stuck in unhappiness, anger, shame, sadness, bitterness, or other painful emotions. Let DBT skills like radical acceptance help you and your teen through this challenging time. Radical acceptance skill of accepting the things that you cannot change. It doesn’t mean that your teen has to like the current situation or agree with it. Instead, When your teen cannot solve a problem or change how they feel about the problem, encourage them to try acceptance as a way of reducing their suffering.
Are you tired of hearing your kids say, “I’m bored!” all of the time? Many teens and tweens are struggling with a common emotion this summer: boredom. Too often, kids respond to boredom with negative pattern behaviors. With time, teens and tweens get stuck in a cycle of negative behavior, in which they immediately go to TikTok or the cookie tin when they feel bored. Luckily, there are just as many positive responses to boredom as negative ones! By creating challenges, trying new activities, and getting creative, your child can have a fun, engaging summer during coronavirus. Here are some ways to help your teen or tween beat that summer boredom…
Have you ever wondered what online therapy is like? Like many businesses lately, Mindsoother transitioned to telehealth, or online therapy. Therapy sessions are conducted via Zoom so that clients continue to receive the support they need, especially during these stressful times. The pandemic and its repercussions have caused many people to experience heightened negative emotions. When our lives are upended, it’s normal to feel more anxious, upset, or frustrated than usual. That’s where therapists can help. Like anything that’s new, online therapy may seem daunting at first. The therapists at Mindsoother are here to ease your worries! The Mindsoother team answered some commonly asked questions about online therapy sessions. Learn about what it’s like to practice online therapy from the therapists themselves…
Do you feel like you’re stuck in the same quarantine routine? If you and your family have been following the same cycle since quarantine began, it might be time for a change. Following the same patterns of behavior can make you feel anxious, hopeless, or frustrated. You’re often on autopilot, going through the motions of typical tasks while your mind wanders and worries about other things. Luckily, there is a way to break out of these patterns of behavior and have an improved connection to daily experiences: mindfulness! Mindfulness helps you break the cycle of passive “autopilot” behavior. You build awareness of what’s happening around you without letting your emotions take control. Mindfulness isn’t as complicated as you might think. Here are some simple ways to incorporate mindfulness into your routine and find meaning in mundane experiences…
Has the pandemic taken its toll on your family? Constant family time can strain family dynamics, even in the most agreeable of families. Spending 24/7 with the same people makes it more likely for conflicts to arise. Are you tired of arguing with your partner or pulling your hair out over your kids’ bickering? Take a dialectical approach. When you think dialectically, you acknowledge that two opposing ideas are both true; then, you find balance between those ideas in order to be most effective. Are you ready to make family time less stressful? Let’s learn about dialectics and how you can apply it to your family dynamics for calmer days ahead…
As your child seeks independence, you may be asking yourself "What's the right balance?" Creating more independence is often a topic in family therapy and in therapy with teens. For parents, the struggle lies in giving your children enough space to make mistakes that they can learn from AND not so much space that it risks your child getting seriously hurt. It’s not easy to find middle ground between your child’s needs to be independent and venture out and your need to keep your child forever safe and close. So how do you strike a balance? Where is the line between creating independence and promoting safety? Here are 3 tips on how to approach this topic in your family discussions…
Are you often at odds with your kids, partner, or other people in your quarantine bubble? Disagreements during already stressful times can make everyday life difficult for everyone. With continuous conflict caused by being around each other all of the time, your family may feel out of touch, tense, or distant. How can you strengthen your family relationships, reduce conflict, and feel happier? Next time you encounter conflict, give the VALIDATE skill a try! VALIDATE helps you validate others; you verbally recognize how they are feeling in order to reach a mutual understanding and find a solution. It’s perfect for families because it encourages open, honest communication, allowing family members to connect on a deeper level. Let’s explore how VALIDATE can help your family…
Do you find yourself asking your kids to do something 4 or 5 times before you finally give in, give up, and do it yourself? Sometimes, it can seem like your kids don’t care about the consequences of following through on daily tasks, or that they don’t care to listen to what you have to say. Yet ignoring your requests has impacts on you and the whole family. It’s one of every parent’s greatest dilemmas: How do you get your kids to do what you want? Try using the DEARMAN skill. DEARMAN is a fantastic DBT skill that improves communication and helps you get what you want—without yelling, whining, or conflicts. It’s an acronym with tips and techniques to make requests. Let’s explore how it works with a real-life example…
As quarantine measures relax and things begin transitioning back to a “new normal,” it may be time for your family to begin painting a picture of what this transition could look like. We have been through a total of 3 massive and immediate changes in less than 4 months, which means that our brains have been working overtime to adjust time and time again. That’s a lot to cope with! Therefore, it’s understandable if you’re feeling hesitant, confused, or unsure about how to proceed. Here are 3 ways you can help your families (and your minds) prepare to transition to your “new normal” in the weeks ahead…
As parents, we all have unique ideals and expectations of the experience of raising our kids. We set schedules, we create routines and we teach lessons to instill those ideals in our children as we try to meet our own. So, how do we manage when our children change, when we change, and when life changes? It’s challenging to parent your children the same way that you were months ago, before the pandemic began. Therefore, it is crucial that we adapt to changing circumstances. How can we maintain a flexible stance with our parenting and create a calmer home environment? Here are 3 ways to help you become a more effective parenting during this crisis…
Dialectics are two opposing forces, feelings, or situations that happen simultaneously. For example, quarantine is hard AND we will get through it. By thinking and acting dialectically, you can keep your emotions calm AND you can look through a new lens to see two truths in a situation. Dialectics is the foundation of DBT. It teaches us that there is an opposite of everything and we tend to be most effective when we find balance between opposites. In DBT, it is particularly important to balance the idea of acceptance and change. However, it’s very difficult to stay in a neutral or calm emotional state lately if you use the word “but” often or if you tend to discount positives with negatives. Manage your emotions more effectively and keep your cool by practicing dialectics! Here are some tips on how to think and act dialectically right now…
Do you wish you could break a bad habit, but you don’t know how? Habits like nail biting, procrastinating, smoking, or spending too much time online often impede on our daily productivity. They make us frustrated with ourselves and in the end, they do us more harm than good. Don’t keep wondering why you simply cannot stop your bad habit. You can break the cycle of negative behavior and save precious time. Explore these three helpful tips to learn why it is so difficult to break these bad habits and discover what you can do to make a change today…
Month 2 of quarantining brings about a new set of challenges. Your brain and body might both be on overload as you navigate working from home and living in the same space. Between meetings for work in your living room, helping kids with online schooling, and getting things done around the house, it can get overwhelming for moms and dads too. This Mother’s Day, treat your brain and your body to some well-deserved relaxation time using these three simple tips…
Co-parenting means working together with your partner, or even ex-partner, for the greater good of your children. Even the most well-adjusted co-parenting teams encounter obstacles from one day to the next. Now with the added stressor of COVID-19, those struggles can intensify or be different from before quarantine. You may want to re-evaluate and revise your co-parenting strategies to meet new needs. Here are some tips that might help your co-parenting right now…
Under normal circumstances, the usual progression of the day usually goes something like this: Wake up, eat breakfast, drop the kids off at school, go to work, kids travel home from school, get off work, cook dinner, eat, sleep, repeat. This routine means that everyone is busy, and it also makes family time precious. Now what happens when that family time became so frequent that work, school, eating, and alone time merge together? Many families may be finding this time tricky to navigate. Your home may be feeling very close now that everyone is in the same space for extended periods of time. For some, your boundaries may be blurring and your schedule may be more lax. Parents: let’s take a look at the ways you can help your entire family upgrade your family time, when family time is all you have…
Over the past four weeks, we’ve learned that traditional in-person therapy isn’t the only effective way for us to lend support, insight and comfort to you. Online therapy works too! Simply spending dedicating time together, being with you face-to-face for 45-50 minutes, and continuing our dialogue can be effective as an in-person therapy session. If you are considering seeking mental health support right now, challenge any negative assumptions or beliefs that you have about online therapy being “not good enough” or “second best.” During COVID-19 and social distancing, our practice’s individual, family and group therapy sessions are 100% online. We believe that now, more than ever, we all need caring, compassion, support, and strategies and we are here to provide that for you 7 days a week. Interested in learning more about how online therapy works? Read more…
As humans, our brains are wired to respond to internal and external triggers so that we have the proper response to keep us safe. If we sense danger, our brains automatically shift into FIGHT OR FLIGHT mode. Panic and fear automatically trigger your brain’s threat detection, so during COVID-19, your system might go into overdrive. This is okay in the short-term, but it can take its toll on your body in the long-term. It is not healthy to be in fight or flight mode more often than necessary. Luckily, you can rewire your brain so that you’re not constantly overwhelmed by anxious or fearful thoughts or you’re not stuck in a state of mind that makes it tough to think clearly. Improve your physical and emotional well-being during this stressful time with these helpful tips…
We’re in the midst of anxiety-provoking times. Whether you’ve dealt with anxiety before the pandemic or you’re experiencing anxious thoughts as a result of these changing times, it’s normal to experience heightened anxiety. We’re all worried about our health, the health of our family and friends, our jobs, the economy, and what the future will look like, among other things. How can we deal with all of these anxious thoughts without letting them overwhelm us? Try practicing gratitude. Gratitude is all about showing appreciation. It’s not something that we’re hard-wired to do, but it is something that we can incorporate into our daily lives in order to reap the benefits. What is gratitude all about, and how can it help you? Let’s explore…
