How To Change Your Habits
Do you feel like breaking a habit is impossible? You’re not alone. It’s tough for anyone to change our behaviors because of the way our brains are wired. It’s naturally challenging—but not impossible—to make a change. By understanding how our brains work and making gradual, repetitive adjustments over time, we can alter our behavior. If you’re ready to break a habit or if you want to help your child make a change for the better, follow these tips…
Why is it so hard to break a habit?
Our brains make it difficult to break a habit. When we perform a certain action enough times, the human brain creates neural pathways. That way, the signal for the behavior has an easier time traveling from one part of the brain to another. The more we repeat a behavior and make it a habit, the more that pathway gets used. And with a more well-traveled pathway, it becomes more of an instinct for us to perform that behavior. Our brains get used to doing that same action over and over again.
The brain is also trained to make associations. If we are feeling stressed and we tend to bite our nails or fidget, our brain will become accustomed to that behavior. Ultimately, the brain will associate stress with a habitual behavior. The brain gets pleasure from performing a habitual task and it releases dopamine, which intensifies the association between action and feelings of the habit. Therefore, you’re inclined to keep up a routine behavior, even if you know it’s not the healthiest option for you.
How can we change our habits?
Break down one habit at a time -
Start by identifying one habit that you’d like to get rid of or change. Focus on that habit, and put the others aside for the time being. Recognize and name the triggers for the habit (setting, time of day, etc) so you know what makes you susceptible to the behavior, and do your best to reduce your triggers. Working with a therapist may be helpful if you’re not sure how to name or minimize your triggers. Feeling overwhelmed by changing all of your habits all at once won’t be productive. By focusing on one habit at a time, you can break it down and make it easier to change your actions.Replace the behavior with a healthier option -
Instead of completely getting rid of the habit, ask yourself “How can I change it into something that’s beneficial or productive?” For example, let’s say you want to stop biting your nails. First, understand why you’re engaging in this behavior. Perhaps you bite your nails because you feel stressed and need to release anxiety. Next, brainstorms ways to replace that behavior with something helpful. Maybe try going for a walk during your lunch break, getting a small fidget toy to pull out of your desk when you need to relieve tension, or writing down what worries you in a notebook. The next time you feel stressed, swap the instinctive behavior with one of your alternatives.Repeat it again and again -
The brain is wired in repetition. The more you repeat a task, the more it will stick. The thing is that repetition won’t work overnight; it takes time to build new habits. Give yourself time to change the habit into a positive one. Keep swapping the behavior you want to change with another behavior. If you can’t stick to it 100% of the time, it’s okay. Be gentle with yourself, and aim to repeat the new behavior the next time you feel yourself triggered. With practice and repetition, the new behavior will start to feel as natural as the old one.
Changing a habit is a long term process. Because of the way our brains our wired to repeat long-established pattern behavior, it’s hard to break the cycle. It’s difficult, but it’s not impossible! By understanding why you follow a certain habit, figuring out your triggers, and replacing negative behaviors with helpful ones, you can make a change for the better. Consistency is key. As hard as it seems, keep up the good work! And be sure to be your biggest cheerleader along the way. The toughest changes are the most meaningful ones in the long-run!