Using Target Behaviors to Spur Positive Change in your Teen

In a perfect world, you could tell your children what they’re doing wrong and they would actually listen. They would stop procrastinating homework, scrolling mindlessly through social media, or getting emotional when under pressure. Making a change is easier said than done. Whether it be managing time more effectively, being increasingly present in the moment, or staying focused on the task at hand, your teen can make a change for the better. How? By focusing on target behaviors. Let’s explore how your child can use target behaviors to succeed at self-improvement…

What are target behaviors? How do they work?

Target behaviors are behaviors that your child wants to reduce or eliminate. They are unhealthy coping mechanisms, like procrastinating, obsessing, or self-harming. They are personalized to an individual’s strengths and weaknesses; everyone’s target behaviors may be different. Target behaviors will give your teen concrete, actionable items to work on. They will serve as a tracking and motivational tool towards making lasting change.

How do you get started with target behaviors? What does a smart target behavior look like?

The first step is to identify a few target behaviors to work on. Target behaviors should be specific, measurable, and realistic. Consider that the goal is to target particular behaviors, rather than trying to change overall patterns or habits. Set specific target behaviors so that expectations are clear. A poor example of a target behavior is “delaying things” whereas a strong example is “procrastinating homework.” They should also be measurable so that they can be tracked as your child progresses. It helps to use time or other numerical trackers, like “Turning off the video games by 8PM” to set limits or “Completing two assignments after school” to have quantifiable goals. In addition, target behaviors should be realistic; they should be goals that your child can actually achieve if they set their mind to it.

Once your child has set target behaviors, create a system to track them. At Mindsoother, we recommend using DBT diary cards so that kids can log the intensity of their urges and their responses to cope with them. Establish a system that serves as a reflection and motivational tool to help your child in the long run.

How can you help kids stay focused on improvement?

Target behaviors will not impact your child’s habits overnight; they promote long-lasting positive change over time. They require willingness, determination, and a positive attitude. Luckily, you can help your child stay on track with their target behaviors through encouragement and smart reinforcement.

Is it tough for your teen to get started on their target behavior? If your child finds that the challenge of it overwhelming, suggest that they take it one step at a time, one target behavior at a time. Have them focus on just one thing that they can do to work towards their goal. This will enable them to stay on task, to understand why the behavior is occurring, and to gain a sense of control.

Does your child struggle to follow through? Reinforcement is key to helping your teen pursue their goals. Make sure that your response to their behavior is fitting. If they responded to an urge with negative behavior, there should be a negative consequence (like no screen time this evening). If they demonstrated positive behavior when dealing with an urge, there should be a positive consequence (like extra screen time). Give your teen the incentive to use healthy coping strategies next time by being intentional and consistent in your response to their behavior.

Kids can get “stuck” in negative patterns of behavior over time. Negative responses to emotional urges become engrained in their minds. It explains why teens might procrastinate studying or pull out their phone without even thinking about it. To help your kids break the cycle, encourage them to set and track target behaviors. Target behaviors are smart, realistic, measurable tools that enable and empower your child to take control of their behavioral patterns. They narrow your child’s focus, turning overwhelming self-improvement challenges into manageable steps towards positive change. As a parent, you can support your child in creating and following through on target behaviors. Use these strategies to encourage healthy habits starting today!