Fostering Teens' Emotional Resilience
Teenagers don’t have it easy during a pandemic. Their lives were already full of physical, social, and emotional changes every day. With the added stress of COVID-19, it’s understandable for teens to struggle with changes or setbacks. A mistake as small as spilling their glass of water or a problem as big as doing poorly on a math test could negatively impact their mood for the rest of the day. In today’s world, it’s more important than ever for teens to cultivate emotional resilience. It will help them deal with life’s changes and challenges without all of the emotional suffering. Share these helpful tips with your teen so that they can cope with adversity effectively…
What is emotional resilience?
Emotional resilience is the ability to adapt, recover, and persevere in the face of difficult situations. It’s the skill of being able to roll with whatever life throws at you. Things won’t always go as planned; but when you are emotionally resilient, you are able to reduce the impact of negative events on your mood and your well-being.
Emotional resilience isn’t something that you are naturally good or bad at. Like playing a sport or learning an instrument, it’s a skill that you can develop over time. Teens who are emotionally resilient have flexible thinking, awareness of their emotions and state of mind, and a positive outlook. Let’s explore how you can foster your emotional resilience.
Take a flexible stance
When your mind is set on one way and only one way of doing things, it will be tricky to adapt if things don’t pan out as you had hoped. You can still have a goal in mind, but be flexible in how you will get there. Let’s say that you want to drive to meet friends at the high school on Saturday, but then your mom tells you that she needs the car that afternoon for errands. Instead of letting this setback frustrate you so that you yell at your mom or cancel your plans entirely, be flexible. Maybe you could ride your bike to the high school, or have a friend pick you up. Have an open mind to the possibilities so that you can be prepared for a range of outcomes.
Build emotional awareness
Having strong emotional awareness is key to being emotionally resilient. When you are able to recognize, name, and cope with your feelings, it will be easier to manage emotions when they become intense during stressful situations. Start by being mindful of your emotions as they come and go. Notice and accept your thoughts and feelings without judgment. For example, if you notice your hands clenching in fists and your heart rate speeding up, you might think to yourself “I feel really annoyed,” rather than thinking “I am so annoyed with my mom for always taking the car when I need it.” Avoid attaching judgments and blame when identifying your emotions. Instead, stick to the facts, name your feelings, and let them come and go. Emotions are temporary; if you let them pass, they will, and you will be more resilient for it.
Cultivate a positive mindset
The way you think and talk to yourself matters. Think about it this way: if you were a coach, and you told your players that they messed up or that they would never get it right, how would your players perform? Discouraging others is not motivating for them, so focusing on the negative and being harsh on yourself wouldn’t be motivating for you either. When you nurture a positive mindset, you are more likely to feel better, be confident, and succeed—even when things are tough. Replace negative self-talk with positivity. When you hear yourself thinking, “I can’t do it,” swap it with, “I can try to do it.” Don’t let challenges intimidate you or allow mistakes to discourage you. Shift these uncomfortable moments into positive ones by viewing them as opportunities to learn and grow. Imagine if your coach put you in the top position on the field. Rather than thinking about all of the ways you could mess up, focus on the benefits of this experience. View it as an opportunity rather than an obstacle.
No matter how much you try, you will face hurdles in your life. There will be difficult moments where you must change and adapt to your circumstances. During these especially trying times, focus on nurturing emotional resilience. It’s the perfect opportunity to look inward, self-improve, and build skill that will help you overcome obstacles without letting the struggle get the best of you. Be the person who perseveres by developing emotional resilience.