Quality Time with your Kids

As parents, we tend to feel like there’s not enough time in a day for quality time with our kids. We want to maintain a strong connection with them, but how can we juggle that, sports practice, work, and so many other responsibilities? The key is quality over quantity. Quality time does not have to involve a 2-hour shopping spree or a full-day activity. When your children were toddlers, going for a walk together or having them help you bake cookies was considered quality time together. So why would that have to change as your children get older? Sometimes, even the simplest ideas for quality time will work great. Here are some tips and tricks to making bonding with your child easier…

1. Don’t overthink it.
You may feel pressure to “go all out” and plan an elaborate itinerary to ensure your child has fun. But when your kid was young, how many times did they want to play with the box the toy came in just as much as the toy itself? Children don’t need anything fancy; they just want to be with you. Don’t overthink it. Quality time is about giving your child your undivided attention. So put your phone away, put your worries aside for an hour, and do something simple, yet fun. It could be an ice cream date, a board game, or a walk around the park.

2. Use a quality time jar.
If you’re not sure what to do, or if your child is having trouble choosing between options you give them, try making a quality time jar. All you need to do is find an empty jar and put small pieces of paper in it that list the names of activities you could do. You could start off by making it an activity for the both of you to brainstorm ideas and write them down on the pieces of paper. It can be fun to randomly pick an activity from the jar and just go with it!

3. Put technology aside.
Parents and children alike are guilty of becoming distracted by technology. Our phones, tablets, TVs, and other smart devices pull us from the present, whether it’s intentionally or unintentionally. When you’re setting out to have quality time, you want to be present. You don’t want to be thinking about a depressing news alert, a work email, or a friend’s recommendation for weekend plans. If you can, put your tech and your children’s tech aside—somewhere out of sight. If you cannot power everything down, turn off notifications and the volume. Lead by example.

4. Follow through.
When you commit to a date and time to spend time with your child, follow through! Your child may not show their disappointment when you cancel or postpone, but it does impact them. It will hurt their feelings. The more you show them that you are invested in spending quality time, the more likely they are to feel the same way. Make sure whatever time you plan on spending together won’t get sidetracked by other responsibilities. Dedicate this time, even if it’s just 30 minutes, to you and your child.

With everyone’s busy schedules and constant plans, it may feel like a stretch to add another “to-do” to your list. However, putting effort into your relationship with your child is one of the most rewarding time investments you can make! With consistency and repetition, you’ll start to notice how spending quality time together will improve your relationship with your child. You’ll begin to see the world through their eyes and better understand them as a person. Not to mention, you’ll build trust and understanding—critical tools for when those though moments arise!

Virgdant Breton, LSW