Maintaining Positive Connections with your Children as a Single Parent

Below are some tips that can help in building and maintaining connected parent-child relationships in single-parent family arrangements: 

Make the most of everyday moments!

Being present with our children can turn moments like driving to school, getting ready for bed, or eating dinner together into quality time and opportunities for connection. Showing genuine interest and listening to understand can help us to keep the doors to communication open.

Setting clear limits, rules, boundaries, and expectations 

This helps children to feel secure and safe. Try to be consistent and use routines. When your child can expect consistency from you, it can help them deal with the other changes that may be happening in their lives. Talk with your children about the family rules that apply for when they’re with you. Clear rules can increase shared understanding and expectations. 

Make one-on-one time

Especially with more than one child, this can be difficult! Try to set aside some time alone with each child. This time can foster common interests, establish rituals for connection, increase feelings of acceptance, etc. 

Give space for emotions

Single parenthood can bring up strong emotions for caregivers and for children. Showing your children that understanding and validating their emotions is a priority can help them to manage these strong feelings with and without you. Acknowledging emotions and allowing them to be shown create more room for regulation and de-escalation. When dealing with an emotion, we have to name it to tame it! 

Aim to keep grown-up issues out of conversations with your child. 

Tap into or work on building your own support network to help you manage the burdens of things like financial problems, issues with the children’s other parent, conflicts at work, etc. Grown-up issues can make children very anxious or put our children in the position of mediator. 

Be kind to yourself! & Look after you! 

As a single parent with more responsibilities and maybe less time, it can be so easy to de-prioritize your own health and well-being, but taking care of yourself, mentally, emotionally, socially, and physically, is good for you and for your children. Don’t shy away from asking for help when you need it, or getting support as necessary. Above all, this allows you to show up and create the opportunities for connection with our children that we desire.