Easing Your Family's Back-to-School Transition

With the school year starting any day now, many parents and children are understandably anxious. There’s a great deal of uncertainty about what the new school year will look like and how it will compare to expectations. No matter what happens, this start of school will not be “normal.” It requires a different approach than previous years: an approach composed of determination, patience, compassion, and mindfulness. If you’re looking for ways to ease this especially challenging back to school transition for the kids (and for yourself), here are some helpful tips…

Be approachable –
Start by being your children’s biggest resource. Act in ways that make your kids feel welcome to bring up their worries, rather than bottling them in. Demonstrate that you’re willing to listen to them by being mindful of your behavior. If you appear cranky or worried more often than not, your children will pick up on those sentiments. They may be hesitant to approach you for guidance if you are constantly stressed as well. While you have every right to be anxious, find opportunities to put your fears aside and enjoy these moments before the school year begins. Model positivity for your children so that they will be more likely to follow suit (and reach out to you for some much-needed encouragement).

Have open and honest discussions –
Talking about how the family is feeling is a great way to cope with the uncertainty of the new school year. If your children don’t come to you to talk, consider organizing a family conversation about what’s ahead. Be sure to be honest and brief in your discussions. Normalize their anxieties; let them know that it’s okay to feel scared or anxious or however they’re feeling. Let your children ask questions—even tough ones. You don’t have to know every answer. When you aren’t sure how to answer a question, say so. Tell them, “I don’t know, but we’ll work through this together.” Use these conversations as foundations for check-ins throughout the year if your children are open to it. It’s a great way to establish trust and open communication as struggles arise.

Validate any concerns or uncertainties –
Your children will have worries about what’s ahead in one way or another. While you can’t fix all of their problems, you can focus on ensuring that their concerns are heard. Often times, just knowing that someone understands can make a huge difference. Give your children the opportunities to express their concerns. As they speak, truly listen to their emotional experience and offer feedback to validate how they’re feeling. You might say things like “Yes, this is really tough,” or “I understand why you feel anxious about this.” Truly listen and give feedback to validate. “Yes, this is really difficult.” In addition to validating through statements, dig deeper and ask questions to figure out why they’re struggling with certain issues. Then ask yourself, “What do my children need from me right now?” and come up with a plan to address those concerns. Your response may not solve every problem, but it can help make the transition a little easier.

Offer strategies to reduce anxiety –
Make the transition to school easier by offering and implementing anxiety reduction techniques for you and your children. One strategy is to do a family practice run. Before school starts, perform a run-through of your school routine. Go through the steps of preparing lunches, going to bed early, and getting to school or your child’s remote learning space on time. It will make the actual first day less daunting if the family has done it once before. Another idea is to think about previous first days of school. They certainly were difficult in their own right, but you got through it! Look back to those past experiences as motivation, as proof that you are resilient. If you were able to survive those challenges, you can overcome these too. In addition, think about the positives of the school year. For you, maybe you enjoy having a structure and knowing what the week looks like. For your children, maybe they like art class or math class, and having a different sandwich each day for lunch. Give yourselves something to look forward to by taking into account the positive aspects of the school year.

When even the thought of school starting up again freaks you out, remember that you are not alone. You and your family, along with many other families in town and around the country, are all in this together. Though these are tricky, uncertain, waters to navigate, you can do it. You can count on loved ones to guide you and at the same time, be there to support the people you care about. Together, come up with a game plan of how to ease your family into the return back to school. Concentrate on the strategies that work best for your needs. As a family, you can make this year’s very atypical start of school a surprisingly good one!