4 Ways to Help Your Child Cope with Anger

Does your child tend to become frustrated easily? Do they struggle to cope with anger in healthy ways? Anger is a basic emotion that everyone deals with from time to time. We may get angry with situations, with other people, or with ourselves. While it’s natural to feel angry or frustrated, sometimes anger can get overwhelming for kids and teens. It can make them feel like their emotions are out of control. They may not know how to manage such intense feelings. It can cause them to lash out, act up, or respond to anger in other unhealthy ways. Here are some strategies to help you support your child with feelings of anger…

  1. Teach your child that it’s okay to feel angry at times –
    Children are typically taught how to manage their feelings as they get older, and are taught what feelings are “acceptable” to express. While negative emotions like anger aren’t pleasant, your child should understand that they are a part of being human. Remind your child that it’s okay to feel angry or frustrated. Their goal should be to learn how to tolerate difficult emotions like anger, rather than holding them in or regularly lashing out. Be a source of support when he or she feels angry; show your child that there are healthy options to express their feelings.
     

  2. Help your child recognize what’s triggering the anger –
    Anger generally doesn’t happen without a cause; certain situations, environments, or people may trigger an angry response from your child. Pay attention to what causes your child feel angry. Then, help your child pinpoint those triggers so that they can develop a stronger sense of their feelings. In addition, help your child recognize common symptoms of being angry, such as feeling your heart beating fast, feeling tense in your body, wanting to hit a sibling or friend out of frustration, etc. If your child is aware of the warning signs, they will be better prepared to manage their anger.
     

  3. Be a positive role model –
    Children look up to their parents as role models about how to act, either consciously or subconsciously. Parents teach their children what is right and wrong through their words and their actions. Therefore, if a parent has a poor response to anger in everyday situations, a child may learn to respond similarly. It’s crucial to model healthy and appropriate responses to anger. When you get angry, pause before reacting and think about how you can respond in a healthy way. This will help your child know how to react when they are in distress.
     

  4. Practice positive coping skills together –
    The best way for your child to learn how to respond to anger is to learn coping skills first-hand. From practicing deep breathing together, to learning guided meditations, to ensuring your child is getting enough sleep at night, you can help your child de-stress and promote awareness around their emotions.
     

Anger is unavoidable. It’s a common emotion that we will all experience in our daily lives. While it’s not a pleasant emotion, it is one that your child can learn to manage more effectively. If you feel like your child is struggling with their feelings and your interventions are not working, consider seeking out professional help. With the support of a therapist, you can both learn new ways to manage their emotions.

Brittany Ruane, LCSW