What Can You Do If Your Child Is Being Bullied?

Bullying is an all too common problem amongst our kids—and unfortunately, it’s an issue that adults don’t find out about until later on. Only 46% of students report bullying to an adult. Some kids may feel afraid to “tell on” the bullies, and others may be ashamed that they’ll be the victim of this harassment. So how can we keep our kids safe and encourage a healthy conversation about bullying? How can we encourage our children to keep coming back to us to discuss difficult topics? Here are some tips to help you navigate the conversation if your child comes to you about it…

1. Try Your Best to Remain Calm –
   It can be hard to stay calm because you love your kids and you don’t want to see them hurt, but try to keep your composure. Your child could misinterpret your anger at the situation (or even the bully) toward them, making them wary of coming to you in the future if the problem persists. 

2. Try to Put Yourself in Their Shoes –
   Remind yourself what it was like to be your child’s age. Everything feels like life and death when you’re younger. This situation may be more stressful than you think or more troublesome than your child lets on. Try to remember what it was like when you were in school. Were you ever picked on? What would you have wanted your parents to do if you talked to them? Do your best to empathize with your child and see things from their perspective. 

3. Listen –
   It is important for you to let your child know you are there to listen and work together to figure out a solution. You may think you know what to do, but if you’re not working with your child and listening to their thoughts, your child may not want to come to you with future problems. They are coming to you probably because they feel stuck and want you to help. But the key word is to help, not to completely solve the problem on your own. 

4. Talk to the Correct Administration  –
   If you and your child feel it is necessary to talk to the school, don’t be afraid to come forward and be their advocate. All schools follow HIB (Harassment, Intimidation, and Bullying) protocols that punish students who engage in gestures, written, verbal, or physical acts, or any electronic communication that is perceived as harassment or bullying. If you and your child decide that you want to talk to school administration, you have every right to do so. If bullying persists, this may be the best option. 
   

Bullying is a difficult topic for children to come to adults about. If your child takes the leap and opens up about being bullied, be their biggest supporter. Let them know that you are there for them, and you will work with them to come up with the best next steps. Encourage healthy discussion and equal collaboration so that you can help your child while giving them an active role in the process.