Using Structure to Make the Most of Summer

As the trees start blooming and the weather begins to get warmer the anticipation of the summer season starts to grow. Some families follow a certain activity of traditions that they look forward to all year. Others may find themselves thinking of how to make the best of the summer months with nothing particular planned other than a brief family vacation. No matter what situation you find yourself in, using structure to make the most of the summer months can help you make the most of your time.

The word structure often comes with negative feelings. But it doesn’t always have to be that way. A structure can be created and used as a road map for fun things to get done-yes, fun things! It helps manage time and efficiency to get the most done. Let's highlight some strategies that can help you use structure to make the most of summer with your family…

Create a collaborative bucket list. This can be a fun way to build anticipation for the months ahead. Make sure you set limits and boundaries around what can go on the bucket list if needed (i.e. budget, locations, who can come, etc.). Make sure everyone in the family is heard when it comes to deciding what to do. Set the realistic expectation that not everyone will enjoy every activity and that's okay.

Set realistic time frames. In the excitement of planning out your summer itinerary, make sure you overestimate the time it may take you to do a certain activity. Take into account travel times and preparation time to make sure you stay on schedule.

Balance flexibility and structure. Different from a schedule with deadlines and urgent to-do's, the beauty of using structure to make the most of summer is the increased likelihood to be more flexible with the schedule. This means that if you choose to stay at the museum longer than scheduled, it’s okay to do that and push the other things back.

When solidifying plans it can be difficult to do exactly everything that each family member would like. In those cases, you can use the Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) skill called GIVE to keep relationships healthy and avoid arguments that could rupture relationships. You can practice the skill by applying the points below:

1. Be Gentle: No attacks, no blaming, no mocking the other person for their opinion or request.

2. Act Interested: Minimize distractions, give eye contact to help the person know you’re listening.

3. Validate: Use statements like “It makes sense to me that…” or “What I hear you saying is…”

4. Easy Manner: Smile, be light, use sweet talk.

Using these tips and strategies to create structure and keep your relationships healthy can come in handy for summer and beyond helping make the transition back to school a smooth one.