Understanding Emotions: Why are They Important?

Emotions play a crucial role in our lives, as they serve a wide variety of purposes. They guide us through stressful situations and help us connect with others in friendships and relationships. Emotions can be fleeting, powerful, complex, persistent, and even life-changing. They motivate us to act in particular ways and give us the tools and resources we need to interact meaningfully in our social worlds.

At the same time, emotions can be difficult to understand. It’s especially tough for people who didn’t have the best role models for responding to emotions while growing up. If family members generally didn’t display much emotion, or typically had strong emotional reactions to stressful situations, those unhealthy responses may mistakenly be seen as normal ways to deal with emotions. Some people struggle with the complexity of their feelings, and many people may prefer not to have to experience them at all.

Life would be easier if we didn't have to undergo the ups and downs that emotions play in our lives. So why are they so important?

• Connecting with others –
  Emotions help us empathize with, appreciate, and connect with others. Doesn’t it feel good when you have a conversation with someone, and you feel understood? Don’t you enjoy the feeling when you’re able to help, lend an ear and empathize with someone else? Emotions help us create meaningful and authentic connections with others.

  Just as our own emotions provide valuable information to others, the emotional expressions of people around us give us a wealth of social information. Social communication is an important part of our daily lives, so it’s essential to be able to interpret and react to other people’s emotions. It allows us to respond appropriately and build meaningful relationships with our friends and family. 

• Detecting Danger –
  When we’re in danger, emotions are vital; they help us save time as we determine how to respond to a situation. Think about it: when you face danger, you enter a “fight or flight” mode. Your adrenaline kicks in and your emotions intensify, motivating you to act quickly. Emotions help us take actions that will maximize our chances of survival and success.

  It’s important to experience a mix of positive and negative emotions. Negative emotions are designed to keep us safe when we’re in danger. Even though they’re uncomfortable feelings, we need to feel fear or anxiety in high-pressure situations in order to react most effectively. Negative emotions motivate us to improve our lives, just as positive emotions do.

• Making Decisions –
  Emotions are important in the decision-making process. In DBT therapy, we encourage people to make wise-minded decisions—meaning decisions that use a combination of emotions and logic. Wise mind allows us to feel our feelings and focus on the facts. When we’re disconnected from our emotions and from other’s feelings, we might not make the best overall choice. By using a combination of our feelings and the facts presented to us, we can do what is healthy, effective, and not harmful to ourselves or someone else.

  Emotions can also be signals that tell us to pay attention to something. For example, you might have a “gut feeling” about something, which can help you act effectively. All in all, our emotions have a major influence on the decisions we make, from what we decide to have for dinner to which political candidates we choose to vote for.

What can you do if you are having trouble tolerating and managing your emotions? Talking with a trusted friend or family member about how you are feeling can go a long way. Another option is to write about how you’re feeling in a journal. If you aren’t getting enough relief from talking with people you trust, you may strongly benefit from connecting with a therapist. A therapist can help you identify, understand, and cope with your emotions effectively.

When we live in harmony with our emotions, we become more in touch with who we are. We gain insight into the emotions that cause our reactions, and we can thoughtfully choose our actions. Focusing on emotions with compassion and curiosity helps us discover who we are and what we should do.