Supporting a Loved One in Eating Disorder Recovery: Holiday Edition
If you have a child in recovery from an eating disorder, you know that there are many challenges to navigate each and every day as they learn to cope with their distressing emotions and build a healthier relationship with food. Approaching the holidays while in recovery comes with a new set of challenges. Even if your child is making great strides while tackling the recovery process, you may expect some difficulty during the holidays.
These are a 7 helpful tips to consider and discuss with your child as you plan for your holiday traditions:
Take the focus off of food: Traditions surrounding food can be exciting and fun, but anticipating eating new and rich foods can feel overwhelming for someone recovering from an eating disorder. It may provide some relief to your child if you plan some activities that are not focused on food such as ice skating, sledding, watching holiday movies, or volunteering.
Bring foods that your child is comfortable with: Gatherings of friends and family often include foods that your loved one in recovery may not yet consider “safe”. Eating disorder recovery includes exposure to foods, yet exposures are something that require readiness and tolerance. If your child does not yet feel ready to try a new food or eat something that they haven’t had in a while, that’s okay. Talk with them beforehand and plan to bring a food for the party that they do feel comfortable with. You can normalize it by bringing enough for everyone!
Model healthy plating: Your loved one in recovery may be working on eating balanced portions and eating mindfully. Gatherings often consist of grazing on different foods over a long period of time. It may not fit in your child’s recovery plan to eat in this style. Plan to join them in plating your food so that they feel supported and have a model.
Avoid diet talk: Many holiday tables break out into discussions of needing to lose weight or how to lose weight after eating a filling meal. It is important to keep these conversations off limits at your table to reduce feelings of stress or guilt that your child may already be navigating.
Set boundaries with friends and family: If you know that your loved ones have a disordered approach to eating, exercise, or talking about food then it is important to have discussions with them about how they might impact your child. If you can, talk with them in advance to let them know that it is harmful to talk negatively about food and weight and plan together to avoid it this year. Alternatively, you might consider bringing a new game to your holiday gathering in order to center the conversation around something neutral and fun.
Maintain your routine whenever possible: It is easy to fall out of our routines when we are off from work or school. However, this can derail some of the progress that your child in recovery has made. Sleeping in late or skipping a meal can cause a domino effect when it comes to disordered eating. Plan to stick to your child’s routine and meal plan as much as possible.
Seek professional support: Discuss your holiday plans in advance with your child’s treatment team. They can help explore stressors and plan coping ahead skills. If you see signs that your child is struggling more than expected, don’t hesitate to reach out for additional support sessions with their team.
If you notice your child struggling more during the holidays, remember that recovery is not linear. It is normal to see ups and downs while your loved one navigates their journey through recovery. Holidays often include more gatherings with friends and family, traveling, fancy clothing, rich foods, and time off from school. Any time that a person in recovery is faced with adjustments or changes, it is important to plan in advance for how to tolerate the distress of feeling out of control and maintain recovery.