Managing Negative Self-Talk

When you think about yourself, do negative thoughts instantly come to mind? Do you put yourself down over every little mistake you make?

If you experience thoughts like this, you are engaging in negative self-talk—and you are not alone. Negative self-talk may not seem to be a big deal, but over time, they can make an impact on how you view yourself and how you feel. Your thoughts are powerful, and they will influence your emotions and behavior in the long run. Therefore, it’s important to manage negative self-talk so that you’re avoiding increases in anxiety and negative self-image. Here are some tips for managing negative self-talk…

1. Challenge your thoughts:
Ask yourself “Who told you that?” when a negative thought pops into your mind. Consider these questions as well: “Is there any evidence to back that thought up?” “Is there evidence against my thought?” “How does this thought make me feel?” “What is a more helpful thought?” “What would it be like if I looked at this a different way?” “What would I say to a friend who said these things about themselves?”
We tend to speak much more compassionately and patiently to a friend, apply that same compassion to your internal thoughts. Most of the time our negative thoughts are irrational and don’t have any evidence to back them up. By challenging your negative thoughts, you are working to change them to more realistic, positive thoughts. 

2. Practice self-compassion:
Have patience with yourself, it is okay to make mistakes and it’s okay if you fail. You are a human being, and you are allowed to make mistakes. Try using positive affirmations to increase your self-esteem and your patience. Say to yourself “I am more than enough”, “I am doing the best that I can”, “I’m not perfect and that is okay”, “I believe in myself” and so on. Switching up your internal language from insults and negative self-talk to positive affirmations can increase your self-esteem and empower you as well. 

3. Increase your awareness:
Gaining awareness of your thoughts gives you the opportunity to isolate and challenge negative thoughts as they enter your mind. Awareness is key to change, if you are unaware that you are engaging in negative self-talk you won’t be able to identify your negative thoughts or notice how these thoughts affect you. You can write these thoughts down or take a moment to notice how you feel when these thoughts enter your mind. Taking that extra moment of awareness to identify that negative thought and challenge it can make a positive impact on your mental health. 

Remember that your thoughts are not facts. You have thousands of thoughts passing through your mind throughout the day. Just because you think something, and even if you think it multiple times, it does not mean that it is factual. Remind yourself to pause, identify the negative thought, challenge it, and speak kindly to yourself going forward.