How to Support your Child in their Transition to Middle School
Following their time in elementary school, the transition to middle school can be one of the biggest periods of transformational change for our children academically, socially, intellectually, developmentally, and especially, physically. Change can be scary! Change is also a constant in our lives. Helping our children feel supported through these changes through preparation, planning, and open communication can make these changes feel much more manageable.
Talk about the upcoming change! What have they heard about it? What are worries or concerns that they have, or think they will have? Find answers to their questions together to help with misinformation. It can also be helpful to set an expectation for uncertainty, for their not knowing exactly what it might be like. Help them to prepare for what you can, and also help them to build their tolerance for the unexpected.
Increase familiarity with the school as much as possible. Attend new student orientations. Help them memorize their new class schedule. Take a tour of the new building and find their classrooms, bathrooms, the cafeteria, gym, etc. Practice a combination lock with your child over the summer to familiarize them with having a locker.
Help them develop an organizational system that they feel will work for them, and help them to enforce it. Here are some starter questions to help get the conversations started.
How do they want to organize their class supplies? Maybe color-code their folders and notebooks, for example?
When will homework be done? Right after school? After a cool down period? After dinner?
What will the expectations be for assignments? How often will they check in with you about their schoolwork and grades?
When can they ask for help? Having a set, shared understanding for these things can help the beginning of the school year, and the potential increase in workload easier to manage.
Use the end of the summer to begin to practice their new daily routine. Will they be waking up earlier than they have in the past? How can they begin practicing this shift in schedule before the first day of school? Start practicing a daily routine now while your family still has summer days to work through any quirks or issues that might come up. Slowly transitioning into an early wake time and bed-time can help to make a successful launch back into the school year.
Encourage them to get involved in extra-curricular activities. Whether it’s a sports team or program, a club, playing a musical instrument or other arts activity, being and staying involved is incredibly enriching to our children’s academic experiences. Help them find the thing that peaks their interests whether it’s in or outside of school. This will not only help them to find their new circle of friends more easily, it will also instantly provide them with something in common like a sport, making finding camaraderie easier.
Explore with them what kind of friends they would like to make and what kind of friend they would like to be to others. Practice and discuss how to talk to people that we’ve never met or spoken to before. This is a time when our children may begin to value spending time with peers and friends over family. Let’s help to ensure that the people they’re spending this time with can positively impact them. Having open conversations with you now can help to not only prepare them for difficult social situations but also strengthen the familial bond to ensure open communication when they need help.
Help your child begin to be their own advocate. This developmental stage is a time when the want and need for independence, agency, and autonomy can take the front seat. Though parents still have the authority, involve your children in more of the decision-making, limit-setting, and trust-building. Successes in these areas can help build our children’s self-accountability and self-responsibility.
Expect mistakes, learning, and growth! We will make mistakes and our children will make mistakes! We will have to let them sometimes! With all the changes that accompany starting middle school comes learning, for us and them. And with that learning will come growth! In a supportive, non-judgmental, validating environment, our children can grow and THRIVE!