How to Practice Active Listening

“Are you listening?” Its a question we often get asked both as children and adults. How can we show the other person we are talking to that we are engaged in their conversation? Trying to practice the idea of “active listening” may allow the other person to feel heard and thus creates a better conversation and elicits better communication. Here are some tips to help you stay engaged in conversations:

• Face the speaker and/or maintain eye contact

Showing the other person you are listening is important, so body language is important as well! It can be good to attempt to face whoever you are talking to and maintain eye contact. However, tt can be hard for some people to maintain eye contact during conversations, especially individuals with autism, ADHD, or anxiety. If this is the case for you, try to just face the speaker, or attempt to nod along with the story so the speaker knows you are engaged. 

• Try not to interrupt

We often try to relate to others by sharing similar stories or events. However, staying silent and allowing the person to finish their thoughts first is important to make the other person feel heard. Even interrupting with questions can disrupt the speaker’s thoughts and they may not get to explain what they wanted to say. Try to let them get out all of their thoughts first before you respond. 

• Don’t start a script in your head

It can be hard to not plan what you want to say next, but if you’re planning on what to say you’re not exactly listening. Multitasking can be great, but not when practicing active listening. 

• Pay attention to body language

As mentioned briefly above, try to focus on your body language and stay involved with non verba cues. If you agree, nod your head. If you are frustrated, furrow your eyebrows. Show whoever you are talking to that you are listening and engaged.