How to Mindfully Respond to your Child
It can be difficult to always respond to your child in the most effective way. When you’re in a stressful situation, your body acts without thinking. You may act on your emotions and respond in ways that you later regret. It’s part of being human; it is a physiological response that is meant to protect you from danger. However in most cases, danger is not present. So how can you modify your response before you act on impulse and react to “danger”?
As a parent, your stress response is triggered daily by events that are not dangerous, yet your bodily reaction says otherwise. For example, if your child spills apple juice on your brand new couch, it’s possible that you’ll react impulsively to the situation as your body has interpreted it as danger. In this moment, you have the option to react or respond in a mindful way. Under stress, you’re unable to think clearly and you may have trouble formulating thoughtful responses. Integrating mindfulness into your parenting will help you respond effectively.
Mindful parenting does not mean that you’re suddenly going to become the perfect parent! It means you’re able to respond in a more productive way that will prevent an increase in your emotional temperature, maintain a positive parent-child relationship, and decrease stress during your day.
Consider incorporating mindfulness into your life using the previous example of spilling apple juice as a guide:
Your child refuses to keep the lid on his cup of apple juice. You’re already frustrated by this behavior and as you turn away, your child jumps off the couch, knocking over his lid-less cup in the process. You feel your body heat up, you sense your rate of breathing speed up, and you’re ready to react accordingly. In this moment, you have the option to react or respond. You must choose your response to this incident in a matter of milliseconds.
Learning to pause before your reaction or response will help you make the most effective choice. It’s important to collect your thoughts and notice your feelings in that present moment. What are you feeling in your body? Where is the emotion manifesting itself? Putting space between your reaction and your response allows you to choose a more mindful approach.
Instead of reacting impulsively from a place of anger, frustration, or upset, give yourself space to diffuse. In that mindful pause, consider a more wise-minded response such as acknowledging the incident in a calm, gentle tone and suggesting you clean up the spill together. In doing so, you avoid conflict and instead, you’re able to feel the sensations of the emotion within your body without further acting on them.
As a parent, you have the choice to react to your child or mindfully respond to your child every single day. Instead of emotionally reacting to your child, choose a mindful approach. Make it your intent to deal with situations more effectively by pausing and considering the best response before acting out on your emotions. By integrating mindfulness into your parenting, you can keep your cool and reduce stress within the family.