How to Check the Facts
Have you ever regretted your response to a situation?
In the moment, our initial “knee-jerk” reaction seems like the most compelling option. We yell, run away, or say things that we don’t mean because that’s how we feel in the heat of the moment. While that response is valid, it’s not always the most effective choice. We sometimes react when we’re emotional, only to reflect on our decision later and realize it wasn’t the best way to respond.
What can you do to think things through before you react on powerful emotions? Try checking the facts. Check the Facts is a DBT skill that helps you change your emotional response and make healthier decisions as a result. Using check the facts, you can modify your response to a level that is appropriate for the situation, or respond with a more fitting emotion. Let’s learn about how it works…
Check the Facts encourages you to think before you react on your emotions. It allows you to step back, assess the situation, and determine if what you’re feeling is appropriate given the context. Ask yourself, “Is the way that I am feeling and thinking about a situation factual?” Then, find the proof to figure out if your response is fitting or not.
First use mindfulness skills to become aware of how you’re thinking and feeling. Mindfulness practices help you recognize how you’re feeling and help you find evidence as you check the facts. Observe how you’re feeling; then use words to describe your emotions and your experience. Sometimes it can be helpful to say this out loud to yourself. For example, you might say “I am observing that I feel angry. I am having a thought about yelling at my friend because she didn’t agree with me. I notice that my heart rate is speeding up and my hands are clenched in fists.” As you observe and describe, be careful not to attach any labels or judgments to what you are describing. Also be careful not to react to your feelings or engaging in your thoughts. Simply notice them, rather than holding onto them or pushing them away. Label facts as facts, feelings as feelings, and opinions as opinions.
Next ask yourself, “Do the facts warrant the intensity of the feeling response?” You can figure this out and check the facts by going through the following series of questions. These questions help you step back, assess the situation, and decide if your response is fitting for the context.
What is the emotion I want to change?
What is the event prompting my emotion?
What are my interpretations and assumptions about the event? Do they fit the facts?
Am I assuming a threat? Will it actually occur?
What's the disaster? How can I cope well with it?
Does my emotion and/or its intensity fit the facts?
Don’t let yourself get so caught up in the moment that your emotions get the best of you. You don’t have to get overwhelmed and overreact or shy away and not react strongly enough. In these moments, check the facts before you react. Take a minute or two to see if your emotions fit the facts of what is actually going on. Use check the facts to be mindful of your emotions and your surroundings, and then make sure that you’re responding with the proper intensity of emotion.