3 Ways to Avoid Holiday Self-Punishment

After a delicious Thanksgiving meal with loved ones, does your mood feel lower? Are you hit with negative feelings that weigh you down? The holidays are a time of celebration and enjoyment; so why is it that once the festivities have ended, we’re met with a sense of sadness or regret? It’s more common than you’d think to experience post-holiday self-punishment. After the thrill of a positive experience, we’re susceptible to succumbing to negative emotions. Avoid punishing yourself and stop getting stuck in negative feelings by following these simple steps…

1. Practice self compassion
   Show yourself grace. Treat yourself as you’d treat a friend. Think about how you might show compassion to a friend experiencing this issue. How might you advise a friend in this situation? Taking a step back and adjusting perspective may allow you more space for compassion. For example, a conversation with a friend might look like the following: a friend might say to you, “I feel so disgusting! I really indulged over the holidays and now I am unhappy with myself. I don’t want to leave my house.” To which you might respond, “I hear you and I understand. Your feelings are valid. Remember how much you enjoyed the holidays with family and friends and created memories together. It has been a hard year, so be gentle with yourself.”
   

2. Engage in mindfulness practices
   Mindfulness is a way to center yourself in the moment. Through the practice of mindfulness, you’ll increase your self awareness. It is common to fall victim to negative self talk. However through increased self awareness and mindfulness, you foster the ability to exercise positive self talk. Reframing your self talk can help improve how you see yourself in the world. For example, practice mindfully directing gratitude towards the different parts of your body. Give thanks to your legs for allowing you to walk, run, and jump. Move along your body, practicing gratitude for each organ, each muscle. Imagine yourself accepting your body as it is and all the wonderful things your body does for you. Simply notice and gently push away any negative self talk as you go through this exercise.
   

3. Follow radical acceptance
   A key module found in Dialectical Behavior Therapy is radical acceptance. Practice radical self acceptance to avoid post-holiday self-punishment. Radical acceptance is not approval, but rather complete and total acceptance that you cannot change the present reality. It doesn’t mean that you have to like it or agree with it. By choosing to radically accept the things that are out of your control, you prevent yourself from becoming stuck in suffering, and you avoid unhappiness and regret. For example, practice accepting the idea that “this is temporary and I can get through this.” Acceptance of the present moment, the current reality of how you may be feeling about yourself (even if you may not like it), is practicing radical acceptance.

The return back to typical routines after enjoyable holiday experiences isn’t easy. It leads many people to dwell on negative emotions like sadness and regret. Finding grace and self acceptance during post-holiday self-punishment can help reduce the impact of intense emotions that may accompany the weeks following.